"Elena, she`s a death ringer from Katherine."
"Tell me: when was the last time you had something stronger than a squirrel?"
"Where`s your ring? The sun is coming up in a couple of hours and..poof..ashes to ashes."
"Your hair is different. I like it."
"That`s for me to know and for you dot dot dot."
"She got spunk."
"Not bad. Have you been eating bunnies?"
"You have two choices: You can feed on her and make her forget or you can let her go and let her scream vampire at the town square"
"This town needs a bit of a wake-up call, don`t you think?"
"It`s al so ra-ra-go team!"
"It`s very Emerson how you reveal your soul. So many adjectives."
"I saw Elena today, BTW - that means `by the way`. She was at cheerleading practice. She looks so perky in her little short shorts. Simmer down. I didnt even go near her. Ive got my own cheerleader now."
"I like you and your laugh."
"You`re dead dude, get over it."
"Doesn`t it always come down to the love of a woman?"
"I feel a little used, I thought we were having a moment. Now I`ll have to go to the party angry, who knows what I`ll do."
"I`m not some drunk sorority chick. You can`t Roofy me."
"It`s cool not growing old. I like being the eternal stud."
"What`s so special about this Bella girl? Edward`s so whipped."
"This is John Varavatos, dude. Dick. Move."
"Some girls just can`t refuse my good looks, my style and my charm and my unflinching ability to listen to Taylor Swift."
"Bad dream? Do you know how easy it was to get in your head just now? You really need some human blood. It might even the playing field.
Football reference! Too soon?"
"The vervain keeps me out of her head, maybe that`s not my target."
"I got you gooood, didn`t I? We`re not going to be fun today."
"Oh don`t get blood on the couch, please?"
"Why are you standing there. That`s a girl who clearly wants to be chased. You don`t do it I will."
"You just don`t wanna die, do ya?"
"I`m so gonna regret this."
"Where are you Stefan? I`m trapped at the house getting really bored and really impatient and I don`t do bored and impatient. Bring me my ring!"
"We met in the woods, you were drunk I attacked you and then I killed all of your friends and brought you here and gave you some blood, you loved it and now we`re gonna party till the sun goes down."
"Jeremy huh? Elena`s brother?"
"I`ve been in love. It`s painfull, it`s pointless and overrated"
"It`s going to get really freaky."
"See. You`re already starting falling apart."
"You`re afraid of me. I`m gonna go on a limp and guess. Stefan finally fessed up."
"May I come in? Oh wait, of course I can I`ve been invited."
"I`m not gonna kill you right now. That wouldn`t serve my greater agenda."
"Oh tip for later: Be carefull who you invite in."
"If anyone is going to kill you it will be me."
"Yeah, what is it? Is it skunk, St. Bernard, Bambi?"
"You don`t have to kill to feed, just find someone really tasty and then erase their memory afterward. It`s so easy."
"Don`t listen to him. He walks on a moral plane waaaay out of our eye line. I say, `Snatch, eat, erase.`"
"Oooookay, Count Deepak. I am outta here."
"Your life was pathetic. Your after-life doesn`t have to be."
"She`s been cooped up in your room all day. She`s not Anne Frank."
"I`m not taking her to Disneyland. We`re going to the front yard."
"Come on Vicki. Live a little. No pun intended."
"Uuh, my bad."
"She had a schoolgirl crush on me. It was cute, but I had to let her down."
"Let me escort you to the school. It`s not safe out there alone. I mean, I have seen ten vampires tonight!"
"You need to leave. Your wounds are bleeding and you need to leave."
"Hello Lexi, what an unexpected surprise."
"It`s a party party. No-one is gonna know it`s your birthday."
"No, you`re the only stupid thing here. And shallow and useless."
"Stefan smiles, alert the media."
"You asked me to take away all the memories and all the rarrr stuff."
"Rise and shine. You`ll be late for school."
"I`ll adopt the Stefan diet. Only nothing with feathers."
"A: you hurt me last time. B: I whish you no harm, believe it or not Bonnie, but I wanna protect you."
"I don`t Damon. I can`t trust you to be a nice guy. You kill everybody and you`re so mean. You`re so mean. You`re very hard to imitate."
"`Don`t forget I taught you how to play this game."
"I have a bigger surprise Stefan. I`m gonna bring her[Katherine] back."
"The comet passed and I got the cristal. And that Caroline got it and than Bonnie got it and so now we`re here."
"Katherine never compelled me. I knew everything. It was real."
"You`re right Stefan. I only have you, so where are we going?"
"We`re a team. We could travel the world together. We could try out for The Amazing Race!"
"Get off me. A: Don`t touch me. B: If I had I wouldn`t have been so obvious about it and C: there`s another vampire in town."
"Let the adults handle this stuff."
"This tire iron here could take your head clean off. Is that your final answer?"
"I don`t side with anyone. You piss me off, I want you dead."
"If you`re lying, I`ll end you."
"Oh you were so much more fun when you were asleep."
"Well, you`re in Georgia, without your magic little necklace I might add. I can very easily make you agreable."
"The problems are still going to be there when you get home"
"It`s not like we all hang out together at the vamp bar and grill."
"Vampires can`t procreate... though we love to try."
"Come on you don`t like pickles? What`s wrong with you?"
"You`re not the worst company in the world, Elena. You should give yourself more credit."
"You`re pathetic when you`re fishing."
"Don`t you have school?"
"You help me? I don`t know, that seems a little unnatural."
"Look at you, putting the pieces together."
"Rise and shine, sleepy heads."
"If I see a thing I haven`t seen before I throw a dollar at it."
"You know, I really like this whole menage-a-threesome team thing. It`s got a bit of a kink to it. Don`t screw it up!"
"My father never approved anyone I dated. Which made me wanted them even more, of course."
"Is it real? This renewed sence of brotherhood."
"Damn, you`re strong for a little thing."
"So what do you know..this is an interesting turning of events."
"Of course I was going to do this on myself, the only one I can count on is me. You made that clear many years ago, Stefan."
"Give me the book, Stefan. Or I`ll snap her neck and you and I have a vampire girlfriend."
"I mean this sincerely. I hope Elena dies."
"Fool me once, shame on you."
"I didn`t compell you in Atlanta because we were having fun. I wanted it to be real. I`m trusting you. Don`t make me regret it."
"You knew Katherine wasn`t in there."
"You`re worried about methat`s nice. Don`t be
there is no need. I`m fine, why wouldn`t I be? I spent the last one hundred and forty five years with one goal, to get inside that tomb. I succeeded. Granted Katherine wasn`t in there to be rescued but why dwell?"
"Do you know how liberating it is not having a master plan? Because I can do whatever the hell I want."
"I haven`t killed anybody in - too long."
"A room full of women clamoring to go out on a date with me. Sounds tasty."
"Oh, yeah. L.A., New York, a couple of years ago I was in North Carolina, near the Duke campus, actually. I think Alaric went to school there, didn`t you, Ric? I know your wife did. I had a drink with her, once. She was... she was a great girl. Did I ever tell you that? She was... delicious . Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm."
"Are you really this stupid? I guess so."
"You got to put down the stake. Wow, that`s courage."
"She came to me, all pathetic, looking for vampires. There was something about her that I liked. Something special."
"No. I slept with her because I liked her. I turned her because she begged me to. But you knew that too, didn`t you? I guess she wasn`t happy at home. Wasn`t happy with life in general. Wasn`t happy with you. Now this is a shame. We`re kindred spirits. Bitten by the women we love. Unrequited love sucks."
"You know what? Isobel came to me. She found me. If she`s related to Elena, that`s means she`s related to Katherine. Maybe, Katherine sent her to me."
"Wake up woman, the world has moved on."
"My primary reason for existence has abandoned me and after today`s events, the remains of the shaky ground that I walk on are about to go kaboom. Let`s get hammered."
"How long are you gonna blame me for turning your birth mother into a vampire?"
"I have two liters of soccer mom in the fridge."
"Pearl! Open this door. I swear to God I`m gonna bust it open and rip your head off."
"Well you[Alaric] look alive."
"Teacher by day, vampire hunter by night."
"Fine Elena, you can drive the get-away-car. But your not going in the house."
"I can`t protect you Elena. I don`t know how many vampires there are in there. I have to be able to get in and get out. I can`t be distracted with your safety or this will end up a bloodbath that none of us walk away from. Including Stefan."
"Your merry little vampires spend the day torturing my brother."
"If I had a good side, not a way to get on it."
"Guess what? Everyone hates me. But you can`t deny: we were bad ass!"
"Turn it up a little bit. It`s not annoying yet."
"I haven`t hunted a human in... God, way too long."
"No Elena! I will not go to your bedroom with you."
"Have I entered an alternate universe where Stefan is fun?"
"I like a woman in uniform but I have to side for this one, you look... smashing."
"I like my life in Mystic Falls. It feels like... home again."
"We have a problem, Stefan. And when I say problem, I mean global crisis. Seems Uncle John has a... You don`t look so good... It`s different this time, isn`t it? The need is too strong. Of course it would be, after all these years. Have a good night, brother."
"How lucky for us, we have...John."
"John... Whatever I can do to help keep this town safe, even if it means spending time with you."
"You`re playing house with half of a tomb of really pissed off vampires. What did you think was gonna happen?"
"You seem awfully chipper, lately... Less doom and gloom... A little more pep in your step!"
"Stefan,.. Let`s be serious, for a second. You spent the last century and a half being a poster child for prozac, and now you expect me to believe that this new you has nothing to do with human blood... Nothing!"
"Well, well, he`s a liar and a thief."
"Why don`t you just walk up to Sheriff Forbes? Ask her to tap a vein?"
"What does Elena think of the..new you."
"He has no idea what normal is. His entire excistense isn`t normal."
"Just fill in Elena on you..extra curriculum activities."
"Not in the mood! Today`s been a no good, very bad day!"
"The humanblood should be gone by now. Do you wanna explain why your still sitting here feeling sorry for yourself?"
"Stefan likes ... puppy blood. Little golden retriever puppies, cute floppy ears. That`s his favorite."
"He`s being dramatic. He`s not gonna starve himself."
"Let`s not kill anyone, tonight. Your words. Just pointing that out."
"What did you think you were gonna find? Isobel with a cigar and slippers?"
"I think I watched the teacher having an exancentral crisis."
"The moment Stefan had his first taste of human blood, he was a different person. I suppose I should thank him. It`s been a hell of a ride."
"I will make it an eternity of misery for you."
"Witches, judgy little things."
Elena: "What`s the matter?"
Damon: "He`s just back to boring, straight-laced, off the junk. You`ve successfully cured him of anything that was interesting about his personality."
Elena: "Don`t forget who helped me."
Damon: "I hate myself."
"Have fun with the Mystic queen. I know I did."
"Sorry I`m late. The dog ate my, uh.... Never mind."
"What`s with all the furrowed brows?"
"You can turn it off, like a button you can press. I mean, Stefan`s different. He wants the whole human experience. He wants to feel every episode of How I Met Your Mother, so he shuts his feelings out. The problem is, as a vampire, your instinct is not to feel. Isobel chose the easier road no guilt, no shame, no regret. I mean, come on, if you could turn it off, wouldn`t you?"
"Good to see you Isobel. Just having fun with your naughty little minion."
"You do not come into my town, threaten people I care about. Going after Elena? Bad move. You leave her alone or I will rip you to bits. Because I do believe in killing the messenger. You know why? Because it sends a message. If Katherine wants something from me you tell that bitch to come get it herself."
"I like being a living dead person."
Damon: "I`m here to eat cotton candy and steal your girl."
Stefan: "Don`t start with me, Damon."
Damon: "Oh, you started it, Stefan, with that whole `I`m insecure, leave Elena alone` speech. I`m still enjoying that."
Stefan: "As long as you heard it."
"Good cop, bad cop, I like it."
"What I did to Vicki was wrong. I`m sorry for my part."
"I came into this town wanting to destroy it. Tonight... I found myself wanting to protect it."
"Somewhere along the way, you decided I was worth saving. I wanted to thank you for that."
"Oh no..You got to be kidding me."
"Well, she at least knows how to make an entrance."
"To risk another frown line encroaching on a very crowded forehead... We kissed."
"She`s Katherine. She loves to play games."
"I`m just gonna ignore the bitch. See ya."
"Stake her, rip her head off. Something poetic. We`ll see."
" Yes, Bonnie,I would love to know why a non- vampire was tortured by the vampire torture device that you let John Gilbert use against us. Speaking of your guilt, hows Caroline?"
"Now you need to stop with the witchs brew. Youre starting to believe your own press."
"Great Elena. I`m walking on sunshine. Thanks for asking."
"I kissed you. Thought you kissed me back. Doppelganger hijinks ensued. How do you think I`m doing?"
"You`re scared. You think Katherine`s going to send me off the deep end, don`t you? I don`t need her for that."
"Ooh, cover up Fabio. You got a crazy ex on the loose. Better watch out, it looks like Katherines trying to steal your guy."
"I mean, it`s only fair, because I went after your girl."
"Dont pout. Its not attractive in a woman your age."
Im better at the enigmatic one liners, Katherine. What are you up to?
"Wait, wait, breathe pause."
Answer it right, and Ill forget the last 145 years Ive spent missing you. Ill forget how much I loved you. Ill forget everything and we can start over. This can be our defining moment. We have the time. Thats the beauty of eternity. I just need the truth, just once.
"That`s me. Your trusty bodyguard. Calm in a crisis."
No, Im not upset. Upset is an emotion specific to those who care.
Youre surprised that I thought you would kiss me back? You cant imagine that Id believe that youd want to? That what weve been doing here means something? Youre the liar, Elena. There is something going on between the two of us, and you know it. And youre lying to me, and youre lying to Stefan, and most of all youre lying to yourself. I can prove it.
You know when you shut out the pain, its the easiest thing in the world. The part of you that cares just goes away. All you have to do is switch and
[Snaps Jeremy`s neck].
"I`d be honoured to help keep this town safe from vampires."
"Aren`t you worried that all the forest animals will band together and fight back? After all, they talk."
"I like this. You walking on eggshells around me because you think I"m gonna explode. It`s very suspensible. Is Elena worried too? I bet I`m your every conversation."
"Jeremy... It`s so good to see you alive."
"I will shove this ring so far up your ass you`ve really got something to joke on."
"What the hell is up with that family? If they`re not vampires, what are they?"
"Katherine is a manipulative, nasty little slut."
"Whatever happens it`s on you."
"My father hated vampires too."
"If werewolves exist, where the hell are they?"
If this Wolf Man thing is true, Ive seen enough movies to know its not good. It means Mason Lockwood is a real-life Lon Chaney and that little Tyler punk may just very well be Lon Chaney, Jr. which means Bela Lugosi, meaning me, is totally screwed.
"Sorry you can`t come too Stef."
[Stefan and Elena kiss] "Okay time to go."
"Elena, I saw the ring. It`s a big tacky thing, it`s hard to miss."
"Pull it out. I can`t reach the damn thing, Elena. Just pull it out, it hurts."
"What make you think that has any power over me? Cause I took an arrow in the back for you? You are severlly overestimating yourself."
"Id be extra nice to me right now."
"You are not capable of hating me forever."
"Katherine originally came from Europe. Petrova was her real name. Katerina Petrova to be exact."
"You have every right to hate me, I understand. You hated me before we became friends. It would suck if that was gone forever. So is it? Have I lost you forever?"
"You and Katherine have a lot more in common than just your looks."
"Jenna went to highschool with Mason Lockwood so I figured a social gathering would be a good way to get to know the guy."
"I`m gonna put some silver into Mason Lockwood and prove he`s a werewolf."
Did my little brothers confession overwhelm you?
Is my love not enough?
You expect me to believe that youre here in Mystic Falls planting peace trees?
I tried to kill a werewolf and failed. Now I feel like Im not living up to my best self.
"Don`t look so surprised. You knew this was inevitable."
"You need to drink some deputy blood."
"Relax guys, nobody`s killing anybody. You`re my friend[to Liz]."
"Wow, fascinating. Not enough."
"You`re a Gilbert. You just can`t help yourself."
Your search for life`s purpose is as obvious as it is tragic.
"See now your life has purpose."
"If we start believing in some supernatural witchy-woo from a picture book were idiots."
[to Elena]"I`m looking for my baby-bro. Speaking off, tell yours to stop follow me around."
"Werewolf thing aside, the guy`s a surfer."
"Mason Lockwood`s a werewolf and Katherine`s evil. They`re the bad guys. Really, you wanna play morality police with me right now?"
"Wow, it looks like this guy is used to being tied up."
"Hey judgy, thank you."
"Come on. Wake up wolf boy."
"When did you two meet? She seduced you and tell you she loved you?"
"You`re super natural so I`m sure she can`t compel you. I`m sure she used her other charms. Katherine`s just that way."
"Now I get it! You`re just stupid. Katherine doesn`t love you. She`s using you moron."
"I`ve had a very busy day today; killed a werewolf, found a moon stone. Hey did you know he hid the moon stone in the bottom of a well full of vervain, doesn`t trust you very much though he did love you poor guy. Hey where are you cause I can bring him over."
Skip the teen drama and get to it.
"This woman ruined our lives, she destroyed us. Tonight it ends."
We can do it together. I got your back.
Sorry about your pet wolf. You should have kept him on a tighter leash.
The second this spell is lifted, Im gonna drive a stake right through your heart.
Death would have been too kind.
Then Ill protect her
while you rot in hell.
Yeah, I dont understand that. That guys a tool.
Oh, teens today and their underage drinking. Tragic.
No, you wont, Caroline. He cannot know about us. A bite from a werewolf can kill a vampire, so dont be his friend. Do you understand me?
If you want to drop the hint to your mom that Aimees body is at the bottom of a ravine with a cracked spine, it might save your mom some time.
Everything she says is a lie! How am I supposed to know shes gonna start spouting out the truth?
No, let me tell you how thats gonna go. Were gonna go ask her for help, shes gonna negotiate a release, which were gonna be dumb enough to give her, and then shes gonna get out and kill us. Its exactly what she wants.
Alaric sure likes his weapons.
Can we not do the whole road trip bonding thing? The cliché of it all makes me itch."
Aw, thats so sweet. You want to be all big and strong and save your girl. Well, dont worry, I got your back. Youll be fine.
What Im about to say is probably the most selfish thing that Ive ever said in my life.
I just have to say it once. You just need to hear it. I love you, Elena. And its because I love you that I cant be selfish with you, why you cant know this. I dont deserve you, but my brother does.
God, I wish that you didnt have to forget this, but you do."
"He`s one of the originals. He`s a legend."
"Oh please don`t tell me you`re crying. Just because you`re buddy Trevor lost his head."
"If you`re setting me up in anyway, I will rip your heart out and shove it own your throat. Something I`m very good at."
"You marter yourself into a tomb and I get to be a partner with the semi-confident witch. Wonderful."
"Elena is on a martyr tear that rivals even if your greatest hits."
"I`ve been dead before. I got over it."
"Oh, come on, Pouty.At
least give me 2 points for ingenuity."
"A, He can`t do anything about it and B, what I just said."
"She`s[Bonnie] on moonstone duty and I`m on... Elena patrol. "
"Vampire Barbie asked me if she could handle it and I said, why not? Figured if she screwed up, he`d bite her, then I`ll be rid of two of my problems."
"Change of plans, you baby sit."
"You shoud go out, enjoy the sun. Oh, wait, you cant!"
"Mmm....Mason`s mystery woman."
"You`ve been marked. What the hell kind of wolf borke down crap is that anyway?"
"If you`re gonna be maudlin, I`m gonna kill you myself. Just to put me out of your misery."
"Elena is a do-gooder. Its in her nature. She just cant resist.
"Death happens. We come. We go. The sooner she dies, the better. It`s gloomy as hell in here."
Damn. There goes my plan to rip her spleen through her back.
Im going to have a friendly chat with Lady-Wolf brother. Ease up.
You went on a murderous rampage. happens.
"You`re ruining our perfect day with your strange philosiphical babbling."
What do you want to hear? That I care about Rose? That Im upset? Well, I didnt, and Im not.
I feel, Elena. Okay, and it sucks. What sucks even more was that it was supposed to be me. Jules was coming after me.
Go home. There has been enough doom, gloom and personal growth for one night.
I have a secret, a big one. But Ive never said it out loud. Whats the point? Its not gonna change anything. Its not gonna make me good, make me adopt a puppy. I cant be what other people want me to be. What she wants me to be. This is who I am.
You are my existential crisis. Do I kill you or do I not kill you? But I have to Jessica, because Im not human. And I miss it. I miss it more than anything in the world. That is my secret. But there is only so much hurt a man can take.
"You brought back John Gilbert? That was your big save Elena move?"
First dad duty: ground your daughter.
My brother the peacemaker. Since Stefan got here before me, Im gonna let him try it his way before I resort to my way, which is a little bloodier. So, give us Caroline.
Im in love with a woman I can never have.
"The point is, Im in love with her and its driving me crazy. Im not in control.
I dont trust myself around anyone, Andie. Im bad, Andie. I do things. I kill people.
"Let me tell you how this is gonna go. You`re gonna torture me, I don`t talk. Someone loses a heart. Last time it was your boy Mason."
"I showered, I shaved, I had breakfast, very relaxed."
"Yes Stefan, I`ve become you. How tragic for both of us."
"We have to be more clever. We are smarter than this, like Katherine was."
"I`m done here, with you. I`m leaving town."
"Hey, there`s Jenna with her new boyfriend."
"Wow, that blood did the trick. You`re almost pretty again."
"I get you out of here and your ass is sipping Klaus-free margaritas in some unknown island somewhere, no way."
"There`s no such thing as a bad idea. Only poorly executed awesome ones."
"John, what a surprise. Leave."
"So let me guess. In addition to the moonstone, the doppelganger, the lion, the witch, and the wardrobe you need to find this witch burial ground."
"Elijah, did John tell you that hes Elenas uncle/father? Of course, she hates him. So theres absolutely no need to keep him on the endangered species list."
"Little tip: Don`t pull the dagger out."
"What do we have here? Our little moonstone bar of soap."
"When we killed Elijah, it broke the compulsion and freed the bitch from the tomb."
"Did you know I would die?"
Whatd Papa Witch and Baby Witch have to say?
"You know this whole friendly cooperative thing? I dont buy it.
Youre the unwanted house guest. Go feed yourself.
Thats for not telling me the dagger would kill me. [Pushes the stake in harder.] Next time, it goes in your heart.
"You wanna help? Start talking!"
Katherine, there are six other bedrooms in this house, go find one.
Great, well have to put that on our list of things to do today: harness ancient dead witch power.
"Emily was just my key to getting Katherine back, before I knew what a nasty little bitch Katherine was.
Well, heres the thing
Johns ring, its an old Gilbert family heirloom that protects its owner from death by a supernatural entity.
"Were gonna need a covers story: epileptic fit, alcohol binge, banana peel
whatever works. But right now, I just have to get him[John] out of here.
We didnt create a safehouse for you to leave it.
That was a lame cheap shot. Hes trying to bait us.
Klaus does not get to win tonight. No way.
You need to listen to me and prepare for what Im about to say. Bonnie had to die. Klaus using Alarics body was a total surprise. She wasnt prepared for that. And he wasnt going to stop and we werent going to be able to stop him until he knew she was dead. He had to believe it. She cast a spell, Bonnies okay.
See thats why I didnt tell you. Cause you wouldve never been able to do it. Dont get me wrong, Stefan. I dont mind being the bad guy. I make all the life and death decisions while youre busy dealing with colleteral damage. But at the end of the day, Ill be the one to keep her alive.
Let me be clear about something. If it comes down to you and the witch again, I will gladly let Bonnie die. I will always choose you.
"She`s lost it."
"That might be your plan. Mine`s better."
"We`re splitting from the team. Going rogue."
"I figured you`d might still be kicking. Alaric-Klaus was blending way to easily."
"You owe me. And I will collect."
"We can kill him today! With Bonnie."
Ill write her a great eulogy!
Thats your plan? A magical witch potion with no expiration date?
"Elijah is an original vampire, Stefan. One we tried to kill."
"Go ahead. Wish me an eternity of misery. Believe me, you`ll get over it."
"Admit it. You just wish you had the balls to do it yourself"
"We both know that elixer wouldn`t have worked anyway."
"Do you think if I took his werewolf out of the equation, she might get over the fact that I tried to turn her into a vampire?"
"What if I tell you Elena had vampire blood in her system? Imagine how much fun that will be, competing with Elena for Stefan`s love for, I don`t know, forever."
"Listen Matt, not a good time to play the hero."
"Youre lucky I just screwed up once today, or you`d be dead."
"Do not wolf out on us."
"I don`t care if you kill me for it. It was all me."